Embracing the Reality: not everyone will like you, and that’s ok.

By: Marissa Pollet

As we journey through life, we encounter countless people—some become close friends, some remain acquaintances, and others may simply not like us. This realization can be upsetting, especially for those of us who seek acceptance or have a deep desire to be liked by everyone. But here's the truth: it’s impossible to be liked by everyone, and that’s completely normal. The key to navigating these uncomfortable feelings lies in acceptance, self-love, and shifting our focus from external validation from others to internal peace.

Understanding Why Not Everyone Will Like You

We all have different personalities, experiences, values, and preferences that make us unique and shape the way we view the world and those we encounter. It’s only natural that we will click with some, while others won’t. This isn't a reflection of your worth but rather a reality of human nature. Instead of seeing this as a personal failure, try to reframe it as part of life’s diversity. Not being liked by everyone is not a flaw but a fact, and accepting this truth can help you navigate social interactions more gracefully and lessen the sting when you are faced with these situations.

Coping with the Discomfort of Rejection

Even though we may logically understand that we can’t please everyone, emotionally, it can still sting when someone doesn't like us. These feelings can be uncomfortable, but they are a normal part of life. How do we accept and understand this discomfort and not let it affect us?

Here are some practical steps to cope with these emotions:

·      Acknowledge Your Feelings: It’s okay to feel hurt or disappointed when someone doesn’t like you. Instead of holding these feeling inside, acknowledge them. Give yourself permission to feel, but don’t dwell on them indefinitely.

·      Avoid Personalizing Rejection: When someone doesn’t like you, it doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong or that you’re unworthy. Most often, it’s about differences in personalities or circumstances. Remind yourself that their opinion doesn’t define you or control your self-worth.

·      Focus on the People Who Do Appreciate You: While one person may not like you, there are likely many others who appreciate you for who you are and embrace the real you. Take into account why this may be? Most times are closest relationships are with those we have opened up to and see a side that others have not. Not being like is based by others is built upon a perception of who you are that they have formulated. Surround yourself with the people who make you the best version of yourself.

Learning to Love Yourself

At the core of handling rejection or discomfort from others is building a strong foundation of self-love. When you love and accept yourself, the opinions of others hold less power over you. Here’s how to strengthen that inner foundation:

·      Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself when you feel rejected or unliked. Treat yourself with the same understanding and empathy that you would offer to a close friend. Remember, it’s okay to not be perfect and it’s ok not to be liked by every person you encounter.

·      Develop a Sense of Self-Worth Independent of Others’ Opinions: Your worth is not tied to how many people like or approve of you. Make a conscious effort to validate yourself rather than seeking validation from others. Self-confidence is key to loving who you are and what makes you special.

·      Focus on Your Strengths and Values: Reflect on the qualities that make you unique, the values you embrace, and the strengths you bring to those around you on a daily basis. When you’re grounded in your own identity, rejection from others becomes less impactful. This comes with time, practice and patience and having inner confidence.

Avoid Dwelling on Not Being Liked

It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of overthinking when someone doesn’t like us, replaying the interaction in our minds and wondering what we could have done differently. But this type of rumination rarely leads to resolution. Instead, it often makes the situation feel worse. Plenty of us have been there in a situation where we encounter someone who doesn’t like us. For some it may be easy to move on about our day, but for others it affects our mood and inner confidence greatly.

Here’s how to break that cycle:

·      Shift Your Focus: When you catch yourself dwelling on someone’s dislike, redirect your thoughts. Focus on a hobby, a goal, or an activity that brings you joy. Engaging in something positive can help interrupt the negative thought pattern.

·      Limit Comparison: Comparing yourself to others—especially those who seem to be more liked—can deepen feelings of inadequacy. Instead, practice gratitude for who you are and the unique qualities you bring to your relationships. It’s important to remember that it’s not about the quantity, but rather the quality of our relationships.

·      Set Boundaries with Your Inner Critic: If your inner critic is particularly loud when you feel rejected, learn to set boundaries with it. You don’t have to believe every negative thought your mind creates. Challenge those thoughts and re write the story your mind has created.

You Are Enough

Not being liked by everyone is a universal experience, but it doesn’t define who you are. Learning to accept this reality, while embracing self-love, can free you from the weight of others’ opinions. Surround yourself with people who value and appreciate you, and most importantly, remember that you are enough just as you are. Life is richer when you focus on the quality of relationships rather than the quantity, and when you nurture your own self-acceptance instead of chasing external approval. We are all on the same journey of love and self-acceptance so embrace those who truly love you, cherish those relationships and be less willing to allow those who don’t like you to damage all of the amazing qualities that make you who you are!

Our team of caring professionals at Inspired Wellness are here to provide support and guidance towards your path of mental wellness. We believe that every individual has the ability to be the best version of themselves and our goal is to set you up with the tools to maintain a well-balanced life that will place you on the path towards lifelong change. We strive to create a non-judgmental environment coupled with therapeutic practices that are tailored towards each individual. At Inspired Wellness our team aims to do exactly as our name says, inspire you towards a beautiful life of strength and wellness!